I had mentioned in the last post that I was done fighting, listening and believing what everyone told me. So I grabbed my pen (Laptop) and my paper (Microsoft Word) and started my journey to… More
It was the dead of the night and nothing could be heard except the rustling of leaves in the park. Not even the footsteps of a willowy figure walking through.
Crunch. crunch. crunch.
As he stepped over a particular area filled with the fallen leaves of the trees; the sound echoed. He was startled by it. The noise seemed strangely loud and close, and the thoughts which had plagued his mind; now a distant but tormented memory.
As he paused to adjust the strap of his bag which was digging his shoulder he looked around. It was dark. Not dark in a harrowing way. It was the kind of darkness he welcomed. Darkness and peace to help him sort out his thoughts.
He squinted his eyes trying to decipher the outline of a bench nearby. And as he eased himself on it, he gasped in pain that shot out through his ribs.
“Good old Dad” he thought before grimacing and adjusting to a more suitable position. He let go of the bag which was almost overflowing with stuff and got out a piece of paper from his jacket. It had seen better days.
The paper was crumpled to the point of being torn. As the boy unfolded it gently he was greeted with a large stain. A stain that largely resembled blood. Dried blood.
Unknowingly, his hand went to check his nose as he re-read the letter. It was from his mum. Written for him to be opened on his 18th birthday. He checked his damaged watch to remind himself that he was an adult now, and soon enough after the bus arrived he would also be free.
He had been accepted into one of the top institutions for ballet training. On full scholarship. A prestige to learn with the best of the best. An honor is what his teachers had told him.
Unfortunately, no one told that to his Dad.
“You Gay?!” is what he roared after hearing the news. He father was a free thinker and for him to use the term in a derogatory way made him gape. Did it matter? To his father it did.
“Dancing is for girls” is what he had kept saying ever since his mum had passed away and the money from the ballet performances she did stopped coming home. His father had spiraled into an alcoholic and violent state. But his mum had given him hope. And talent.
Despite being beaten to the point of unconsciousness he made sure to read her letter at midnight on his 18th birthday for some support. She knew that her son was talented and she had left some money for him to follow his dreams. Away from the eyes of her squandering husband.
The honk of the bus slowly brought him back to the present. The driver was looking at him expectantly. He got up slowly, fighting back tears of sadness and pain as he walked over.
But he felt alone. So lonely. He missed his mum.
And as a sign, just as he was about to step on inside the bus; the skies cleared away for a bright moon to shine on through the darkness. And he smiled. Just as she had said in her last letter to him.
He wasn’t alone. His mum was going on this journey with him. He was going to experience new things, for her.
It was like he was 9 years old again and she was sitting beside him saying, “I got your back Buddy”
For my last post click Ready. Set. GO! – Chase your Dreams
For my last Storytime post click Food for Thought – (Story)
So the last time I wrote, was me coming out of a slump basically. I needed an outlet and it was getting difficult for me to not sink into a deep pit of unhappiness. (pretty dark?! I KNOW!!)
It’s true when they say; you never truly value something until you realize it’s gone.
Well that’s what happened to me. I didn’t notice my attitude evolving so much more when I wrote. And since I wasn’t doing it anymore, I kept feeling lost. And hollow. But unlike some people, I actually knew what I had to do to get back. Write.
But then I kept asking myself, now what? You know what your supposed to do; what your meant to be doing. But how do you start? When do you start? Do you look for some sign? Do you wait for the perfect moment? Well I say go for it! (think of it like just jumping into a swimming pool, knowing your arms and legs will help keep you afloat and alive…maybe not the best example if your a swimmer but you get what I’m trying to say right?)
We are excited, and want to go after our dreams, but just as we are about to take the first step we stop. Why? To search for a better time?
In all honesty I can just say that it’s us. We make excuses. To get the perfect camera, or to buy the best laptop or to just have your own work station at work or at home. This is our mind showing us a way out because we begin to doubt our ability. But all this is not necessary!
Being happy is about living in the moment.
A child is happy when you give it a new toy. Immediately it is put to use. There is no doubt if the child thinks it is new, or second hand or even if it is the same toy they had lost a while back. Then why are we any different? Why can’t we do the same? I kept thinking the same thing, until I one day woke up and said, NO MORE! No more sulking. If I want to write then I will. I will make do with what I have and it will be the best that I can do at that time. I can’t live doubting myself and regretting not taking any action.
So get up! You do not need to compare yourself with anyone. We are blessed with whatever we have. So go after your dreams! Work towards your happiness! Only YOU can change your life. So get ready and make it happen!
As Nicole Williams wisely said; The world is your playground.
I am working towards my writing. This helps me personally keep a positive outlook and grow as a person. Hopefully I can inspire some people on my journey as well.
What are you working towards? I would love to know!
For my last post click Food for Thought – (Story)
For my last Lifestyle post click A Second Chance – Find your Passion
The soft clink of a glass interrupted her from a lucid daydream that she was having. She looked around at the noise which had awakened her and realized that there, beside her half eaten plate of cupcakes was a clear mug which was filled to the brim with what looked like steaming hot chocolate. She peered over, just to check and looked up at the retreating back of the man, with one of the biggest smile she had worn on her face for a while now.
The waiter had seen a lonely girl sitting aloof and had decided to treat her to a steaming mug of hot chocolate. With marsh mellows !
“There’s a bright side” she thought while picking up another beautifully decorated cupcake. She deftly peeled the covering and without a glance, devoured it within a minute.
But even the sugar rush could not distance her thoughts from HIM.
He had never appreciated her. Never treated her the way she saw boys doing it in movies. Perhaps her expectations were too high. But that never gave him the right to toy with her naïve mind.
But what could she do ? She was an incurable romantic.
“LOVE. A wretched bond !” she thought back angrily as she picked up yet another cupcake, but this time pausing to really look at it.
“The amount of effort a person has to put, only for it to be never repaid back. Or maybe it was just the satisfaction of the work.” the irony of her own words did not escape her. With a wry smile she picked up the hot chocolate, a perfect drink for washing down after her cupcake spree.
She had spent far too long telling other people and, convincing herself that she and him were meant to be. That the way he made her feel about herself were just her insecurities rising and nothing more. But the tiny teeny voice. Her voice of reason. The calm, sure and authoritative command within herself made her realize that her sub conscience was right. She was right. And she had to walk away. She deserved more. She deserved better.
Hence, the guilty pleasure. The sweet frosting of the cupcakes in the local bakery had pulled her there instantly.
And as she was sipping her hot chocolate and munching on the soft marsh mellow, she was overcome with a sudden emotion. She couldn’t quite place the feeling, but soon, as she felt the warmth spreading through her body with the first sip; she knew.
It was going to be alright. She was going to be just fine.
For my last post click A Second Chance – Find your Passion
I’m BACK! *cue weird dance moves*
But no really. I am. For real. Here to stay. Here to write.
To all the lovely people who read my previous posts, wondering what happened to my blog. Well I deleted it. All of it. Do you ever get the feeling of just wiping the slate clean and moving forward? Well that’s what happened to me. I had an epiphany of sorts. And decided; why not? I needed a fresh start. What better way than on my birthday month?!
Another reason would be LIFE. Yes I know, sounds pretty dramatic. But that is what happens isn’t it? You are invested in something. It may or may not be practical. You may have a lot of passion regarding it. But then, Life get’s in the way. Or more accurately, reality gets in the way.
School, College, Education, Job. You have to pay the bills. That is correct. But then after sometime you get the nagging feeling of being incomplete. Like something is missing. In truthfulness nothing is. Your just missing the stuff that makes you happy. That DOES NOT MEAN most people who get a job are usually always unhappy. No! But they just never get to unleash what they are most passionate about.
Being in the army versus watching birds. Being a banker versus collecting stamps. You get my drift? Sometime’s even your hobby can be the greatest passion you have.
I, for example, love reading! Absolutely. And by chance, started this blog so that one day when I’m gray-haired I can read it, have a laugh and share it with my family and kids. Now, along the way if anyone comes across this page and keeps in touch? Well, I get to help someone and be a friend. And this is what I was missing. Writing in my online diary.
But, when you have something you are passionate about, you will make time for it. That is what I was unable to do. (We’ll talk about that some other time..)
But if you are in that stage, don’t stress. There is a silver lining. Get up and make time. If you are not doing something productive (stalking someone on insta…we’ve all been there) then use that time in doing what brings a smile to your face!
Take that second chance. You can restart anytime. You get one life. ONE. And if you continue to live it for others, or give excuses, or just give up; then it is a waste.
Don’t continue seeking happiness when all you need to do is search within. Find yourself. There is no greater joy.
What’s that one thing that brings a smile to your face? I want to know!..